Saturday, June 21, 2008
Kisses
We've talked a little about Cassandra's kiss with Simon and its role in the story and in her coming of age, but the kiss with Stephen in the woods, which was physically, if not emotionally, way more intense, seemed somehow just as important in Cassandra's developing awareness of "the facts of life" and love. Any thoughts on this? And what about Stephen's objection — men are so damn weird sometimes! — to the fact that she was "letting" him? Was that just a bit of midcentury male sexism that there was something wrong with a woman who would actually "let" you? Like sex is way more exciting for a man if the woman appears to not want it or demands the steep price of a wedding ring in exchange? (I mean, I know it would have been wrong for the story for them to do it, but didn't Stephen's reaction to that whole situation seem kind of strange? Or maybe, given the time period, it was supposed to make him look rather noble, like he, despite his intense desire, was protecting their "honor" when she was so recklessly neglecting her womanly role to do so? Or maybe he sensed that she didn't return his feelings and considered her loveless participation in the act repugnant? (hence the "XXXXXX but only when you want them" of his letter?)
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I took his objection in the woods to be explained by the "not until you want them" at the end of the letter. Cassandra was "letting" him in the sense that she still wasn't passionate about him but rather was acquiescing to his desire of her. If he had gone on it would have made him callous, wanting to gratify his own desires when he knew that Cassandra didn't reciprocate.
But then again I liked Stephen, perhpas I am giving him a generous read.
I liked Stephen, too. The book wouldn't have been the same without him. I liked that he REALLY loved Cassandra and tried to express his love in ways that would be meaningful to HER, e.g., by sharing poems with her (even if he plagiarized them), by spending his hard-earned money on little presents for her (like a chocolate bar to eat in the bath tub! or the wireless). Would Simon have done farm chores from dawn till dusk to buy Cassandra a present? And the fact that he was completely unaware of his extreme good looks showed a refreshing lack of vanity. Unlike Simon, Stephen would never grow a dainty little beard to "put him in touch with literature." Hehe. And Stephen wasn't a sucker for Rose's good looks either. Cassandra was his first choice, not second as with Simon, and you could tell that Stephen would adore Cassandra until the end of time even if she stopped reading poetry and gained a 100 pounds from eating chocolate all day in the tub.
I found the woods scene remarkable, especially for the time period. Cassandra writes that Stephen kissed her "more and more, not gently at all — and I changed, too, and wanted him to go on and on. I didn't even stop him when he pulled my dress down over my shoulder. It was he who stopped in the end."
Cool! A girl (in the 1930s) who wants sex and admits to wanting it and doesn't feel ashamed about wanting it and who doesn't regard her virginity as something that has to be hyper-protected so that she can make a "gift" of it to her husband someday. Her body is hers. Her pleasure is hers. She doesn't have to "save" it for someone else. I wish I had realized that at 17. Hehe (Maybe this outlook was partially the result of having the free-spirited Topaz as a mother).
I really got a sense in that scene — despite all the complicated emotions — that Cassandra was going to grow up to enjoy herself and not be bound by insanely public expectations regarding intensely private acts.
(Also, Amy Preacher, the vicar post got kind of buried below, but I want to know what you thought of that.)
I agree that Stephen's lack of vanity was refreshing, but was it a little too much? When they are on the walk just before entering the woods Cassandra tells him that his wireless is actually a much bigger present becuase Simon didn't have to work and save for the one he gave her (quite true). And Stephen responds, "it was my privilege."
Perhaps he is a little too noble. Can his heart really be so saintly? Surely he suffered the same confict of emotions and motivations as everyone else in the story.
It would indeed be great to see Cassandra liberated about her sexuality, but I wonder if she really was. If, as you say, kc, "her pleasure is hers" then why all the drama and the "wild feeling of terror" after Stephen stops kissing her, a feeling which causes her to run to the house?
Once there she yells at him, "I don't love you I hate you." and then sums up the whole episode by saying it "was a wicked thing, wicked to him and wicked to myself...it was only due to Stephen that it didn't turn out wickeder."
I did love that one absence in the book was any full disclousre of what Topaz's naked "communing with nature" meant. Perhaps Cassandra with her girlish naivete couldn't have imagined the enjoyment to be had alone in the woods.
Yeah, that's a complicated scene. She does refer to it as a "sin" later. But I understood her state of mind as she ran away to be just sheer confusion, like maybe Why was I enjoying that if I'm in love with Simon?
She says her mind "wandered from repenting to thinking it wouldn't have been sin if Stephen had been Simon." As if the "sin" were not out-of-wedlock sex but out-of-wedlock sex with someone you didn't love.
She's just an emotional wreck afterward, and I think Stephen's pulling back and acting like something terrible was happening, instead of a natural thing that happens between two teenagers, added to her confusion — and the fact that she was willing to go on and he was hindered by guilt or whatever. He took pains in his letter to assure her that they didn't do anything wrong. But I don't think she was really grappling with guilt so much as just an adolescent storm of emotion.
There's also the scene where she's alone at the castle and sunbathes in the nude and greatly enjoys it. She's coming to terms with her body and physical pleasures.
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