Tuesday, July 15, 2008

You can do it!

"Upon discharge form the hospital on the eighth day they went directly to the bookstore. This is what Jews do when the shit hits the fan: Go find some books. Bruce and Margalit were revived in the search, some spring in their steps now, can-do crowding out despair. They'd whip cancer's ass, to be sure, with the help of Barnes & Noble."

In the store Dahlia finds "The Book" It's Up to You: The Cancer To-Do List which becomes the foil for her attitude through the rest of the story. Why do you think she was drawn to Gene and his advice? In the contrast b/w Gene and Dahlia did you find one approach to terminal cancer more compelling?

When The Book is joined with Margalit's obsession about healthy eating and the cancer groups dogged optimism, what do you think the author was saying about typical, "fight the good fight" approaches to illness?
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5 comments:

Erin said...

It's a good question. You hear all the time about how patients have to remain positive and fight the cancer and "live strong." My dad was big on the good-attitude cure for a while. And supposedly studies have shown that people with can-do attitudes have a better rate of recovery. Who knows. My problem with that kind of talk is that it sets up a dangerous standard. A lot of people die of cancer. Is the implication that those people didn't fight hard enough? That their attitudes weren't good enough?

It was suggested a few times in this book, by Dahlia's parents and friends, that she was dooming herself by being too negative. And I can hardly imagine a more horrible thing to say to someone who's dying. And I think perhaps the author was making that point about those rah-rah cancer books, too, and that's why Dahlia's response was sometimes "fuck you, Gene."

11:11 AM, July 16, 2008
kc said...

I loved that line: "This is what Jews do when the shit hits the fan: Go find some books."

I think Dahlia had sort of a reactionary personality — like she depended on her reactions to things/others to help define herself. Gene acted as a foil, as you put it, to help her craft her own attitude. She knew that no book was going to help her beat cancer, but Gene's nonsense helped her develop her own coping path.

8:08 PM, July 16, 2008
kc said...

And yeah, there's something to the notion that a "good attitude" can help. But I think Dahlia's point of view was that you can't develop and sustain a good attitude based on a book. You can't pull good feelings out of thin air. You have to have things in your life that make a good attitude possible — like people who truly love you, people you love, things you care about, things that make you want to "rage against the dying of the light."

And even then, as Erin said, cancer is the boss, good attitude or not.

I also thought there was a question of does the "good attitude" really benefit the patient so much or is it really to make the bystanders feel better about things? I've seen a couple of my grandparents on their deathbeds, and both times I was very curious and extremely sad about what they were feeling — whether there were things they were keeping inside because they didn't want to upset the people around them. I mean, maybe they wanted to curl up like a baby and cry and have someone hold them or rage against life's unfairness or speak from their hearts in a way they were never able to before or talk about how scared they were. Did their brave faces truly reflect their emotions about dying, or was that more or less a show for the family, to make it easier for the family?

7:39 AM, July 17, 2008
rev amy said...

kc, I think you are right on to wonder if the "good attitude" stuff doesn't help out the bystanders more than the one who is ill. I was struck by how carefully everyone around Dahlia avoided actually saying she was terminal, especially Dr Cracker. If anyone should have been able to name the bald truth, it should have been him.

And I loved it whenever Dahlia and Margalit would have an exchange like, "what's wrong?"
"Well I have a brain tumor, for one."

The cancer group was interesting to me since it was portrayed as a place to get "built up" more than express your true feelings. Dahlia's willingness to put some sort of optimistic slant on the end of her speeches there was an unusual act of accommodation from her, I thought.

1:46 PM, July 19, 2008
rev amy said...

I have a problem with the whole "fight the good fight" philosophy in general, I am not sure I want to view the body as a battleground. And you are right that it makes people who "lose the battle" seem less heroic or worthy as those who win. When we all know that illness has a million contributing causes and just some bad dumb luck invovled. Plus I see the war mentality lead doctors to do crazy stuff in treatment that makes people suffer as much on account of the "medicine" as they would from the illness.


And then when the last battle fails, the medical staff just disappears and leaves the family to cope by themselves with whatever happens next. Thank God for hospice then. I read a book where two hospice nurses described themselves as "mid-wives to death" and I thought that was the most beautiful metaphor for the kind of wholistic care they offer.

1:51 PM, July 19, 2008

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