A fallen woman

From kc:

The scene where Evelyn tripped carrying the milk was very telling regarding her role in the family. All the bottles break. She lies injured in the shattered glass and spilled milk. And everyone either just stares or runs away. No one helps her. It's like the whole family is paralyzed by the notion that the CAREGIVER needs CARE. What are we supposed to do? Normally in a situation like this we'd go get mom. And there's even a sense that they are a bit upset with her for putting them in this predicament. Finally Evelyn ASKS for help and the family slowly (and somewhat incompetently) responds. The scene is really, really well-written, and it adds immeasurably to our understanding of the family dynamics.

Evelyn is unique in the household, and, despite the huge family, is fundamentally alone in many ways. Her husband is an unreliable contributor, both financially and emotionally. So many of the burdens that come with raising a family fall squarely and soley on her. And not only does she not get the credit she deserves, but she has to endure her husband acting like a baby because her winnings make him the object of ridicule at work; instead of feeling gratitude from him, she has to constantly soothe his self-pity.

That's why, for me, it was so damn poignant when she made some friends among the Affadaisies. It was almost like she recaptured part of her youth, and she was suddenly in a situation where she was being nurtured by others, as well as nurturing them, and she really thrived. Her connection with the woman in the iron lung was especially touching in this regard because they both were trapped by circumstances, either literally or figuratively, and that backdrop made the freedom they felt in each other's company especially sweet. Evelyn's many travails in trying to meet her friends were almost Odyssean. She was trying to get "home" (where she intellectually belonged) and kept getting thwarted by the monsters and Sirens that were needy kids, money woes, domestic emergencies and car trouble.

Another scene, one of my favorites in the book, that highlighted her uniqueness was when she won the grocery shopping spree and she was immediately drawn to a bunch of expensive, exotic food. The family was sort of horrified. Tuff writes:

No one was going to eat the caviar.
"Do you know that U.S. Army research has shown a relationship between intelligence and a willingness to eat unfamiliar foods?" Mom said.
Except for Mom, nobody would eat the lobster either — it was just too different from fish sticks.