Monday, December 18, 2006

Kelly Ryan

Evelyn and Kelly on their wedding day

What did you think about how Terry portrayed her father in the book? Was she too easy on him?
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7 comments:

kc said...

I sort of think she was too easy on him, on the whole. But he was her dad, and he had a lot of redeeming features, though, most notably a certain tenderness that came out from time to time, like when he discovered that the once-hated cat could open doors by itself. I think the remark he made to their mother ("You know what your problem is, Mother? You're too damned happy.") gives a lot of insight into his character. He was sort of dark and brooding and needed to drink to take the edge off of life, and she was bright and warm and didn't dwell. She had a lot of inner resources, and he had hardly any. They were very incompatible, and I think their daughter understood that to a remarkable degree — and she cut them a lot of slack, especially him, because he needed more slack.

10:30 PM, December 18, 2006
cl said...

I thought KC's examples showed a lot of the humanity he displayed -- I thought Terry gave him a fair shake. And, consciously or not, I think she and others adopted their mother's benevolent outlook on life, and that extended to their father.

I don't know whether it was in part a cultural issue of men fleeing the nest at 18, but I noticed that all of her older brothers left as soon as they could -- in Bruce's case, probably before the right time.

I also thought that the story of the father trying (twice) to claim Bruce's football pool winnings was at least as telling as his bouts with drinking. He obviously felt like an inadequate man with no skills like his wife had to offer.

4:50 PM, December 19, 2006
Erin said...

I agree. She obviously understood her parents quite well, including their motivations. And I think she felt a little sorry for her dad, who had a good heart despite his terrible behavior.

I thought Terry's approach toward her father fit the book well. I liked the marketing description of her "dry-eyed glimpses at her father's violence." It would have been a very different book, I think, if she had been more dramatic and emotional about him. I think the approach she took reflected her mother's attitude quite well.

10:05 AM, December 20, 2006
kc said...

Plus, there was the fact if he really hurt her, all the kids would rip him to shreds. And I think Evelyn had her limit — there was only so much she would take, and I think he knew not to cross that line or he would lose her love and the love of his kids forever.

And I think it was clear that if he ever seriously hurt one of her kids she would have left him in the dust without so much as looking back.

I think the second mortgage fiasco really showed what kind of a man he was (weak willed, selfish) and what kind of a woman she was (resourceful, generous with understanding and forgiveness). It was very touching — and telling — how he put money aside for her in the end and how she didn't use it.

11:41 AM, December 20, 2006
kc said...

And this book made me think of Dorothy Allison's "Bastard Out of Carolina," which is based on her life growing up in the South with an abusive stepfather. And how her mother failed over and over to protect her, how she got mad at him for a little while over sexually assaulting her daughter, but then went back to him. I think a lot of women from that era were so financially helpless and had such crippled self-esteem that "stand by your man" was a lot more complicated than a romantic act of devotion. I think the Ryan kids could feel some pity and forgiveness for their dad because they were SO CERTAIN, unlike Dorothy Allison, of their mother's love. They knew she would always love and protect them.

11:55 AM, December 20, 2006
Ben said...

Evelyn was the one who was too easy on Kelly. Terry was definitely not too easy on him. Too easy would be if she had held back and not told some of the bad things he did, and she clearly didn't do that.

She didn't put in much condemnation, but that wasn't needed -- just saying what he did was enough, and judging him would have reduced the impact of what she related. In fact, I think the somewhat loaded language she used to describe him may have taken some of the impact out of the story.

1:13 PM, December 20, 2006
Erin said...

This is from a Q&A with Terry:

Was there anything you hesitated to reveal about your family?

At first, I had doubts about describing Dad's drinking and abusive behavior. In the end, I told the truth about him despite a family's natural reaction to keep certain things secret. Glossing over the threat he represented to all of us would have presented an inaccurate picture of life at 801 Washington, weakening the power of the real story. And I wanted to show that humor did exist even in the worst moments, as when a big bowl of Jell-O flips into the air during a fight, and all we can think of is Mom's latest contest entry:

For picnic or party, Jell-O's a boon —
Made by nine, all "set" by noon —
With taste and shimmer-shake appeal,
Jell-O jollies any meal.

2:12 PM, December 20, 2006

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